If this story involved THC, your aunt Linda would already be spamming Facebook about drug-laced drinks targeting kids. There’d be Senate hearings, pearl-clutching pundits, and Moms Against Everything would be trending harder than pumpkin spice in September.
But since it’s alcohol — and a beachy, influencer-approved brand like High Noon — everyone’s supposed to just shrug and move on.
Here’s What Actually Happened
High Noon, the trendy vodka seltzer company riding the canned cocktail wave like it’s spring break in Daytona, somehow filled Celsius energy drink cans with vodka. Yep. Vodka. In cans labeled and sold as if they were innocent little sparkling “Blue Razz” gym drinks.
How? A packaging supplier shipped Celsius-branded cans to a High Noon production facility. Those cans ended up in High Noon Beach Variety 12-packs and got shipped out to multiple states.
That means someone could’ve walked into a convenience store, grabbed what they thought was a post-workout energy boost, and ended up hammered by lunchtime. Also with no I.D checks.
The Government’s Response?
Meh.
No FDA press conference. No national headlines. Just a quiet online recall notice like it was a misprinted cereal box. High Noon issued a clean little apology and offered refunds. Case closed.
But imagine if that exact same scenario involved cannabis.
Let’s Flip the Script
Picture this: a cannabis beverage company accidentally fills Gatorade bottles with 10mg infused lemonade. Same kind of labeling mix-up. Same accidental consumption risk.
What would happen?
There’d be federal raids
Outrage from cable news
A Fox News special called “The Pot Plot Targeting Our Youth”
Cries of “protect the children” from every PTA Facebook group
And yet, nobody’s blinking over vodka in a Celsius can.
Never mind the fact that alcohol kills 140,000 people per year in the U.S., while cannabis has never directly caused a fatal overdose. Never mind that vodka in a mislabeled energy drink is a real danger to recovering alcoholics, pregnant people, kids, and folks with health conditions.
No panic. Just vibes.
Meanwhile, in the Cannabis World
You don’t have to imagine. Just ask Marc Flore, a Maine man who made homemade THC ice cream and forgot to label it.
Four customers unknowingly consumed it. No one died. But Marc? He’s facing federal felony charges. Not because he sold it. Not because he tried to hurt anyone. But because he forgot the label.
Now contrast that with High Noon’s little whoopsie.
Vodka in a Celsius can
Refunds. Apologies. Back to business.
THC in an unlabeled freezer
Prison. Fines. A federal case.
The Double Standard Is Loud and Clear
If you’re in cannabis — consumer, grower, brand, or advocate — the feds don’t care about your intent. They care about your plant.
One mistake? That’s all it takes. You’re treated like a drug kingpin running a meth lab behind a preschool.
But if you’re a major alcohol company like E. & J. Gallo, which owns High Noon, you get the benefit of the doubt, PR-crafted apologies, and no criminal charges
Just a quick “oops” and keep it moving.
What This Really Means
This isn’t just about weed vs booze. It’s about how risk is defined — and who’s allowed to make mistakes.
Both the High Noon situation and the THC ice cream case involved accidental ingestion.
Both were preventable.
No one died.
But only one made headlines. Only one could lead to prison time
Alcohol gets to mess up and move on. Cannabis gets demonized, raided, and ruined.
Bottom Line
If a cannabis company pulled what High Noon just did, you wouldn’t be reading a recall notice — you’d be reading an indictment.
So next time a politician gets up in arms about cannabis gummies and public health, remember this
Vodka just showed up in an energy drink can and nobody batted a damn eye.
Label your stuff.
Know your privilege.
And until cannabis gets the same treatment under the law.
Keep calling out the hypocrisy louder than a stoner in a Taco Bell drive-thru at midnight
Derek Shirley was born and raised in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. At the age of 19, he received a felony for 4 ounces of cannabis. After, he became a “cannabis nomad” living in Ohio, Arizona, and Maine, which he now calls home, and lives with his wife Sequoia and son Haze.
Being a cannabis nomad had its advantages, like relying on all markets for his medical cannabis needs which gives him a unique perspective of the cannabis markets. Currently, he is an influential pro-cannabis activist in the state of Maine who helps local people and small businesses navigate their local and state governments without picking a political party specializing in protecting and preserving the small medical cannabis farmers of Maine. For fun, Derek enjoys screen printing and making cannabis memes under the pseudonym @gettinghighwithcats on IG
You can find more of Dereks articles at Beard Bros Pharms here.
